Tim Shea

Elaine Shea

Ronan Stankard

Claire Heggarty

Joe Meaney

Tim Callahan

Tim Shea		Always give 100% at work... 12% on Monday 23% on Tuesday 40% on Wednesday 20% on Thursday 5% on Fridays And remember... When you're having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your middle finger.
Return to previous page.

Elaine Shea		In August, Sony Corp. announced it would modify its popular Handycam video camera after a Japanese magazine revealed that a $7 filter used with the lens's infrared feature could enable users to see underneath the clothing of lightly dressed people. An Associated Press reporter likened the effect to seeing a body through a thin curtain rather than viewing someone nude, but that did not stop a brief run on the cameras before Sony's announcement.
Return to previous page.

Ronan Stankard		Favorite toast: "May the hinges of friendship never rust for the want of lubrication!" Among the most astonishing cases of paraphilia are reports of outhouse peepers, who lurk in raincoats in the pits of outdoor toilets. The last widely-reported sighting was of a 26-year-old man just outside Peterborough, Ontario, in 1995. Another alert went out in June 1998 in Horsetooth Mountain Park near Fort Collins, Colo., when a 28 year-old woman using an outhouse noticed a red light in the pit and looked down to find a man standing in hip-high waders, chewing on a plastic stirrer, videotaping her. The man escaped!!!
Return to previous page.

Claire Heggarty		A study released in July by a London Institute of Psychiatry researcher concluded that, in the 13 years of once-a-year, no-smoke workdays in England, the accident rate on those days always goes up. On the other hand, preliminary findings in July of a Boston University medical school study revealed that smoking could reduce the size of a man's erection in the same way that it shrinks the heart.
Return to previous page.

Joe Meaney		A friend of mine was charged with disorderly conduct in June. He fell through a ceiling from a crawl-space ledge on which he was perched, just above four dressing rooms in which females were trying on swimsuits.
Return to previous page.

Tim Callahan		I know a man who was charged with DUI as he pulled up in a limo to pick up his passengers: students who had procured his services for the evening as a graduation night designated driver. Two weeks later he was charged with DUI and failure to take a breathalyzer test; for the last 15 years, he has been employed by the Police Department to testify in jury trials about how breathalyzers work.
Return to previous page.

Sick Twisted Jokes Site About.com